Every day through October, the Department of Tangents brings you the Daily Horror Film Fest – one short horror film for every day of the month. It might be terrifying, it might be funny. It could be an homage classic monsters or something entirely new. Check back every morning for a new scare as we celebrate horror shorts!

If I were giving out a prize for commitment to premise, “The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon,” written, directed, and narrated by Richard Gale, would surely be the recipient. It would also win for transparency in titling.

Gale could have made his point with a three-minute film. But that would make the murder efficient and not at all terribly slow. This is a ten-minute trailer parodying a movie with a running time of over nine hours, according to the narrator. For that entire time, forensic pathologist Jack Cucchiaio is chased by a madman with a spoon, and the life is drained out of him one tiny dull thud at a time. He can’t escape. Everywhere he goes, the madman is there. Thwump thwump thwump.

There is a joke structure that follows this principle – something is funny, it is repeated until it’s not funny, and then repeated again until it becomes funny again. Letterman used to do that all the time, especially to save a joke that didn’t work. This short does it for ten minutes, and manages to work in a Psycho tribute and a bit of actual gore.

It will find you. It will catch you. It will hit you with a spoon. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.